https://www.alexandercruz.live/press-york daily 0.75 2023-08-01 https://www.alexandercruz.live/contact-cruz daily 0.75 2022-10-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666137259712-RZ96FCMVQN52OQLPUWAB/My+project-1+%2846%29.png Contact https://www.alexandercruz.live/about-cruz daily 0.75 2022-10-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/2a4070fb-7ce8-4cd3-84f2-919ba8691eab/73650017.jpg About Photo by Sam MacNeil. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/2a4070fb-7ce8-4cd3-84f2-919ba8691eab/73650017.jpg About Photo by Sam MacNeil. https://www.alexandercruz.live/lgqtepk daily 0.75 2025-12-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/c9fd99a5-7471-42eb-806e-685904a364db/Screen+Shot+2023-06-02+at+3.43.44+PM.jpg Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT - Tristan Paquin-Donoghue Il travaille en tant que producteur, comédien, chanteur, concepteur, metteur en scène et directeur technique dans de milieu des arts de la scène, notamment avec l’Artishow pour plusieurs productions tels que « Le Big Beat, Le Héros des Zéros, A.Liss Underground etc.». En 2016, il a produit et fait la mise en scène pour le théâtre musical jeune public « Les Petites Pestes » et il récidive en 2019 avec « Chanteurs de Pomme ». https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/76f8249a-d90b-4f21-a44b-6af4a6f5e412/DSC08144.jpg Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT - Réalisiteur: Alexander Cruz Son dernier long métrage dramatique, « Pur laine » (2018), portait sur une famille québécoise et philippine en lutte pour un héritage suite à la mort d’un vieux Québécois. Alexander démontre les nuances de gris entre les adversaires et montre comment, finalement, ils partagent tous le même désir : une maison. Le film a rencontré un succès sur la scène internationale et a remporté plus de 15 prix. Alexander évite de tomber dans des récits bourrés de clichés et à la fois trop simplistes, soutenus par les deux extrêmes en politique; il préfère plutôt exposer les problèmes sans porter de jugement, avec empathie et bien sûr, de l’humour. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1a407b31-7337-4ddd-8f87-9e48056c3fa1/Screen+Shot+2023-06-02+at+4.27.04+PM.png Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT Christine Mercier, Isabelle Lafond et Julian Bates https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1685737832710-0HSCZMFU5AORFH9U1UPK/Screen+Shot+2023-06-02+at+3.45.08+PM.png Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/638aae1a-c572-4627-b9d2-b770ac55b9f9/DEBBIE+5.jpg Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT Isabelle Nadeau https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/f516873c-70ad-4028-a92a-e725a1f96a4c/THE+5.jpg Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT - Isabelle Lafond Elle a eu la chance, en 2017, d’avoir le premier rôle dans le long métrage d’Alexander Cruz « Pure Laine » où elle tenait le rôle de Marie-Claire. Le film a été présenté en primeur du Festival du film canadien d’Ottawa en 2018 et projeté dans des festivals en Europe, aux États-Unis et en Asie. Elle a gagné le prix de meilleure actrice au Festival international du film de Singkuwento (2019) à Manille, Philippines et le prix de la meilleure actrice dans un long métrage au Festival international de création en 2019. https://www.alexandercruz.live/home-alexander daily 1.0 2025-12-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/3b564412-9b10-4504-a591-8f0edeea44e8/DSC02281.jpg https://www.alexandercruz.live/home-alexander/lgqtepk-ymcjb monthly 0.5 2025-12-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/76f8249a-d90b-4f21-a44b-6af4a6f5e412/DSC08144.jpg Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT - Réalisiteur: Alexander Cruz Son dernier long métrage dramatique, « Pur laine » (2018), portait sur une famille québécoise et philippine en lutte pour un héritage suite à la mort d’un vieux Québécois. Alexander démontre les nuances de gris entre les adversaires et montre comment, finalement, ils partagent tous le même désir : une maison. Le film a rencontré un succès sur la scène internationale et a remporté plus de 15 prix. Alexander évite de tomber dans des récits bourrés de clichés et à la fois trop simplistes, soutenus par les deux extrêmes en politique; il préfère plutôt exposer les problèmes sans porter de jugement, avec empathie et bien sûr, de l’humour. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1a407b31-7337-4ddd-8f87-9e48056c3fa1/Screen+Shot+2023-06-02+at+4.27.04+PM.png Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT Christine Mercier, Isabelle Lafond et Julian Bates https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/638aae1a-c572-4627-b9d2-b770ac55b9f9/DEBBIE+5.jpg Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT Isabelle Nadeau https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1685729000349-P4CLVHFT3EOV16WJ970P/BONI+9.jpg Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1685729056798-BI4356KRMUBV3SV9DICP/DEBBIE.jpg Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1685735421655-58HXBP7XABDNWGSHZDC9/Screen+Shot+2023-06-02+at+3.37.53+PM.png Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1685735459868-3IXZH4AH88HU7WMH6VQK/Screen+Shot+2023-06-02+at+3.39.39+PM.png Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1685735468353-VNVJ6OBHENV4O24291FK/Screen+Shot+2023-06-02+at+3.39.03+PM.png Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1685736277969-MZMD1PSCT53Q7T4MSNVN/LIZ+2.jpg Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1685736277916-FV4YO2N4UHLXSR1SF5PB/THE.jpg Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1685736324988-DAH5IX32CRYNPB4L59Q6/BEN+THE+8.jpg Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/c9fd99a5-7471-42eb-806e-685904a364db/Screen+Shot+2023-06-02+at+3.43.44+PM.jpg Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT - Tristan Paquin-Donoghue Il travaille en tant que producteur, comédien, chanteur, concepteur, metteur en scène et directeur technique dans de milieu des arts de la scène, notamment avec l’Artishow pour plusieurs productions tels que « Le Big Beat, Le Héros des Zéros, A.Liss Underground etc.». En 2016, il a produit et fait la mise en scène pour le théâtre musical jeune public « Les Petites Pestes » et il récidive en 2019 avec « Chanteurs de Pomme ». https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664328948401-HCW552I8JVH9R29TZ3FV/My+project-1+%2823%29.jpg Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT - Junkies, serial killers, and a heist. More than a pandemic story. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664221599159-WLO9C5XJL5K5VZH6D7OY/THE+12-2.jpg Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT - The COVID film that could Exhausted, broke, and barely conscious, I somehow stumbled into Day 14, our last shooting day. Everyone was excited that we had gotten as far as we did with as little as we had, but I was still in paranoid producer mode: money, get it done, follow COVID protocols, finish the shoot. The COVID protocols made everything that much more difficult, but I knew if I could get something done in this environment this would be proof of resilience. Or so this is the story I told myself. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664221530076-MKR9TTIDCEH1APOOQVLK/My+project-1+%2819%29.jpg Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT - What was an idea the summer prior, was now an actuality. “Actualities” are never perfect. In film, they barely resemble what one initially thought up. But they are tangible. They are something DONE. That is more than most filmmakers can speak of. There are countless screenwriters with stacks of scripts on a shelf somewhere. To commit to making something, you have to accept that your ego will be set aflame and you will deal with people who are there to finish a job. I’ve learned over the years that the crew’s impersonal relationship with your vision is exactly what you as the creator need more of. Remember: DONE, not perfect. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664221644048-JNAKD6FVUKPXEI9G72TE/REMY+3.jpg Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT - A strip club full of mirrors There are only so many ways we could film in this club. The stage was surrounded by mirrors so blocking was limited. The morning of the shoot was also the first time I’d seen that location. The cast and crew waited outside for god knows how long for the owner to open the doors. Would this be a wasted day? I recall feeling calm throughout all this. Why? Having fewer options means most of the decisions you have to make are made for you. Decision fatigue is a real thing. We shot what we needed to shoot and everyone felt fine. None of this “woulda, coulda, shoulda” business. Possibilities are the seeds of buyer’s remorse. I was just happy we didn’t lose the day and we got the extra production value we needed by shooting in a ghetto ass strip club. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/f516873c-70ad-4028-a92a-e725a1f96a4c/THE+5.jpg Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT - Isabelle Lafond Elle a eu la chance, en 2017, d’avoir le premier rôle dans le long métrage d’Alexander Cruz « Pure Laine » où elle tenait le rôle de Marie-Claire. Le film a été présenté en primeur du Festival du film canadien d’Ottawa en 2018 et projeté dans des festivals en Europe, aux États-Unis et en Asie. Elle a gagné le prix de meilleure actrice au Festival international du film de Singkuwento (2019) à Manille, Philippines et le prix de la meilleure actrice dans un long métrage au Festival international de création en 2019. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1685737832710-0HSCZMFU5AORFH9U1UPK/Screen+Shot+2023-06-02+at+3.45.08+PM.png Home - Le genre qui tue: PRESS KIT - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.alexandercruz.live/home-alexander/photos-pph98 monthly 0.5 2025-12-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664213116357-6OTGDXN2G3AWWVAJ5J1R/IMG_0262-1.jpg Home - Photography From Mel (2018) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664213170564-COPQ02VC57HWP5WOABY8/IMG_0570-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664213194642-YD44DCMIZ6XWRDSAP27K/IMG_0607-1.jpg Home - 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Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028388566-BOOHY4NW7IZ8OF8NZ9E5/DSC04173-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028447982-JMRC1X5UMJ9WNGM918O9/DSC04880-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028474274-UDVH2X6305ZDPHSCCF0L/DSC05004-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028508218-V5THP7ZBB6W5QT7Y1UJT/DSC05064-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028528325-MRDGYZDRF5YAXOP0VI0T/DSC03536-1-2.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028553679-KWYSVCG7QMJT4Y2QX0QZ/DSC03637-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028644984-9KAK113BS382ONJDCRN4/DSC03801-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028537988-3OGDMQZAVMLLALP5MY76/DSC03543-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028671994-F80JAJOU9NP3UP5AH589/DSC03993-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028596181-IGSVHPKRI8TEYSA0IYKC/DSC03738-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028633100-YQDSRXRWAPL62TUI0Y66/DSC03761-1-2.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028653390-9WG8IM5GDJ4P65ZEFID4/DSC03887-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028663490-08LO2NI16BCT8DTX7H9U/DSC03892-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028698801-I0857X28CE4RKWFWVY2C/DSC05179-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028726243-PCTQWB0IK6YP36T4VWI8/DSC05293-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666028831516-E9I3WCI8I3D2T2Z83T1X/DSC05789-1.jpg Home - 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Photography From Ottawa (2019) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225045646-6VLSTXCQCVPDDKU02CTW/DSC00694-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225057521-E7IM1S1FDE52VOXFOZBG/DSC00874-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225108702-BKMJW7D85IEBP3DMCOBF/DSC01254-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225119384-W15CCNEVQW43K9ORSED0/DSC01279-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225223419-GPXB099TMLNVFTC8ZKHS/DSC01518-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225236876-5NN1ZO6KU17A7NK485SH/DSC01550-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225259957-KT36YC4HJ0TZDM6K6ZNY/DSC01654-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225308755-KSQ32E4TNYS70IFM8CAY/DSC02177-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225343101-OCEQLAJBA9P916XITNIE/DSC02482-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225375134-7B0QUE1P1QGSQEIIVCY4/DSC02641-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225390222-8L3X6A1HYZ4IVDAPN9NP/DSC02672-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225447819-DM24W4HI4C5EZ9MS3WQ8/DSC02824-1.jpg Home - Photography From TO (2019) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225428878-TAA9738YPHNG11EEQDWY/DSC02810-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225469769-UPQ9NWDSSQMOA4F0SNJK/DSC02832-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225469803-XSXMUCWNR587ILTN7Y4W/DSC02838-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225479572-OCACNNL4S29NY51Y3WCJ/DSC02854-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225495848-E1CMKMJ8WIFRMB48C90P/DSC02885-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225506528-DUO1Y5PS5FOIEISUUTMK/DSC02900-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225544994-MS4NAIGFNS09ZU6NSTDP/DSC02951-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225591236-D9KYDZ5QVARUVZTS2A3W/DSC02994-1.jpg Home - Photography https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664225632876-3C1P5FZCHIQEHD2IFBI7/DSC03089-1.jpg Home - Photography https://www.alexandercruz.live/home-alexander/an-artists-life-l92f8 monthly 0.5 2025-12-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1672518196916-QLDYEUBFQPGAN7TV8PCT/My+project-1+%2828%29.jpg Home - An artist's life - The Shadow (Copy) The Shadow I can remember the day, but not the grade. Was it grade 1, 2 or 3? I was on the playground and wearing a dark blue Expos shirt. I had the bowl cut that so many asian boys had, although mine was more of a football like my head had astigmatism or something. The sun beat down during lunch recess and from the corner of my eye, I could see my shadow. It looked weird. My silhouette did not reflect how I saw myself. My head was back heavy, and my face completely flat. The profile of my face looked like a bullet, sideways. This instilled a great insecurity in me. Yes, asian features are not as pronounced as caucasians from profile, but this never registered for me before. When I looked in the mirror, I rarely got a glimpse of my face from the side. While many white folks complain about how their roman nose protrudes, that’s how I thought a nose should be. Being Pinocchio was better than being a boy without a face. Asians obsess over caucasian features because Western beauty ideals mean wealth and status. It’s residue from colonial history, of course. If China had taken over the world a few centuries ago, white folks would be getting slit eye surgeries and the bridges of their noses cracked down to size. As much as beauty matters in our culture, one must remember not to take these ideals personally. It’s all about perspective. But this takes time. In my mid-thirties I realized that much of my creativity was driven by toxic energy, or, the shadow. I began to see how overcompensating for perceived inadequacies was pointless. Working hard would never give me a face. Insecurity has always been a force in the artist, but there comes a point where this fuel becomes destructive and nihilistic. CEOs or athletes often say that they need an enemy to get up in the morning. This can be a potent motivator. But this also means that love for the craft or their job isn’t enough to keep striving. They need their insecurity to take shape in the real world. They need someone or something to tap into their self-hatred. While their fearlessness can be admirable, there are countless examples of successful people who are suicidal. The “why” behind their work is lost. On a deeper level, it may have never been. One can have good reasons to die for their cause. The end of emptiness isn’t a good one. You say “what the fuck has this asshole done?” Touché. Chances are, I will never be great. I won’t be Kubrick or Steve Jobs. Most of us won’t be like them either. So why not learn to enjoy the journey as it is? And how many greats actually look at their work and feel whole? Many can’t help but fixate on what went wrong. It’s tragic to think of how many go to the grave feeling just as lacking as they did when they were young. Running from your shadow will never get rid of it. And believing that accomplishment is the only path to feeling worthy only strengthens your chains. All it takes is a generation for people to forget everything you were. When you’re dead, you’re dead. Only you can embrace your shadow. This may be the fulfillment you’ve been looking for. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1665419233795-T5U340E5CW2DWGHZG6V4/DALL%C2%B7E+2022-10-10+12.26.39+-+old+boxer+in+between+rounds+sitting+on+a+stool+looking+defeated+impressionist+painting.png Home - An artist's life - The Age of Immortality (Copy) The Age of Immortality My bro warned me. When I was 33 or 34, he told me that I was still living in the “Age of Immortality.” The period in one’s life when you still feel fearless and untouched by age. Naturally, I wrote off what he had to say as the jealous raving of an older man who didn’t have the discipline to stay in shape or eat right. Then I hit 35. Was it just the COVID era? That’s what I told myself. “This crises will all bowl over. Everyone’s depressed and things are falling apart. They’ll feel more solid in a year or so.” There’s some truth to that self-talk. But changes are inevitable as you age, and sometimes defaulting to positivity is living in denial of harsh truths. It’s like your life up until your mid-thirties is training for the big fight. Training. You’re in the gym, sparring and hitting the heavy bag. It’s not hard to impress onlookers. You look good doing the Ali shuffle while skipping. You may even trash talk younger opponents. Then comes the first round of the real fight. It’s against a prime Mike Tyson. Like he says, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” A hard right hand and vicious uppercut later. Your eyes roll back. This is real. Fight or flight kicks in. Three minutes seem like an eternity. The bell rings. You’re back in your corner, stooping. Your body language says it all. You’re in shock and can’t hear what your coach is saying. It sets in: this is a fight no one has won. In fact, if you’re lucky, you will last the full twelve rounds and lose a majority decision. That’s a twelve round beating. Liver shots, concussions, a broken jaw, and you are guaranteed to lose. Of course, this is a metaphor for our fight against mortality. Declining creative faculties, health, and the rest of it. The young are ignorant of all this, blissfully so. Into your late thirties, it’s a sinking feeling you can’t escape. There is a silver lining to this, however. I’ve grown as a writer from this feeling of loss. The more I’ve felt defeated in-between rounds, the more I’m capable of spotting this resignation in others. I’m more attuned to the suffering of others. I’m more attune to my own suffering. It is possible to write without life experience—we are professional daydreamers, after all. But writing, like all healthy relationships, involves deep connection. Every time you want to quit on your stool is an opportunity to sense the defeat in everyone. You’re not alone in this feeling, although most people tend to mask it. The artist doesn’t shy from this existential crises. Nor does he seek it at all costs. He takes it as it comes, and deepens his relationship with himself, others and his art. This feeling of resignation comes in many forms. Feeling inadequate, old, unproductive, aimless, friendless, fat, etc. It may not show up the way you’ve imagined it. Succumbing to eating pizza for breakfast and feeling like shit afterwards is not the heroic last stand anyone wants. Ditto for feeling guilty for binge watching dating shows instead of going out with friends. But then again, it’s these pathetic outcomes that make you all the more relatable, and this makes good art. Take life as it comes. You’ll have those moments when you fight the resistance in you and power through that second draft or nail that audition. You will have life changing moments on vacation and ask out the person you really like. The fight is a long one. Be thankful that you’re in it at all. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664043974501-U00ZBF5VQHCZRDXWV5PJ/image-asset.jpeg Home - An artist's life - Only the Cursed (Copy) Only the Cursed If you’ve found your way here, I pity you. There are so many more interesting places to be on the internet. The distractions are where it’s at. There’s no reason to be bored. But for some reason you’re here. Consider this blog a warm fire for those lost artists unsatisfied with their lot. I will try to help you, but I have to warn you being a dedicated creator is not a job. It’s a lifestyle. One that’s filled with so much disappointment and heartache that to continue, one must have an inner masochist spurring them on. I’ve been a filmmaker since I could figure out my family’s RCA camcorder back in the day. I’m not sure why I migrated to it, but the combination of technical know how and the feeling of power behind the lens excited me. To stay young, you have to know what you liked when you were a kid. I suppose this is why I keep coming back to movies. As you can see from my front page, I’ve made a few indie features and some documentary work. This is my most recent stuff. I’ve also done a crapload of corporate work that isn’t really worth acknowledging. I am not a prodigy, just a homely journeyman who is trying to get better (which has happened with each film). No, I’m not killing it. But shit, I show up. This brings me to the most important lesson of being an artist. I’ve read a bunch of craft books and heard god knows how many successful people say the same thing. You need to treat this like a job. You need to show the fuck up. This is my first post, but already, I can tell that if there’s one takeaway I’d leave you with from this blog, it’s that gloriously unsexy reality of being a working creative person - making that anxiety inducing shuffle to your desk, where you will fail for the next few hours on a good day. There are productivity hacks I’ll go over at some point (like Neil Gaiman’s rules - you can write or you can do nothing, but you can’t do anything else), but for those to mean anything, you need to show up for Christ’s sake. You’ll find one of these posts a month. I’ll try to keep them relevant to your - re: our - journey. They will be mainly film focused, but I think a lot of the things discussed here cross mediums. I’m in the middle of three projects at the moment, so bandwidth is thin. I’ll be back soon. Until then, please…. show up. https://www.alexandercruz.live/home-alexander/pur-laine-w27fn monthly 0.5 2025-12-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1663177062319-GIUS58LSAWHOKIAS5U3C/ISABELLE+2.png Home - PUR LAINE (2019) - I suppose I wanted to make that black and white french film I'd feel nostalgic for twenty years from now. (Copy) I suppose I wanted to make that black and white french film I'd feel nostalgic for twenty years from now. But of course this was indie-filmmaking at it’s best and worst. It’s the high that comes with genuine expression. That feeling, like any, is fleeting. I really enjoyed seeing Chode (Dominique Brillantes) and Levi (Christian Paolo Lat) bitch about their plans going belly up. I also loved seeing Marie Claire (Isabelle Lafond) dump her deadbeat boyfriend Flo (Emile Boudreau). At times, I felt at home. What went wrong? Filmmaking is simultaneously the death of your vision and the birth of something new. With little cash, you have to make do with what you got. And for a Type A like me, this is excruciating. The process is an ultramarathon and my knees were shot after 10 km. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1663177111514-V9AH9NTK4865OAE46WJ2/LEVI+2.png Home - PUR LAINE (2019) - It’s always been my downfall to think I can do big things with little money. (Copy) It’s always been my downfall to think I can do big things with little money. It was a shoestring budget (thanks again Ontario Arts Council). If I didn’t get ahead of myself, however, I probably wouldn’t ever have the motivation to try. The jam I always find myself in (like so many other indie producers) is that for many roles and responsibilities, I am more skilled than I anyone can afford, so I end up doing too much. Thus, I am a regular at the famous Burnout Hotel. I filmed it at my mom and dad’s respective houses. The former for its lived in faux Victorian pretentiousness, which is common for Filipinos. It’s a throwback to the colonial era. A way for struggling people to feel they have power. I chose my dad’s place because it felt like a junkie den. Well, not quite. More like the pad of a functioning addict. His plants were all dry and shrivelled up. He told me he kept them that way for my film, but I knew they were a sign of neglect. His resignation set the mood. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664037517575-TY1GYRAV4PEZ48MYHCML/image-asset.jpeg Home - PUR LAINE (2019) - Everyone just wanted to feel at home. (Copy) Everyone just wanted to feel at home. I wrote this draft of the film after the 2016 US election (the first draft was a coming of age drama that I didn’t have the budget for). The politics of the day were all nostalgia. Leonard Cohen died November 7th. The album he released a month earlier was called “You Want it Darker.” Ruby (Celestine Caravaggio) wants a place of her own that reminded her of “back home.” Ditto for Marie Claire. Levi and Chode want to live like kings back in Manila. Me and my friends weren’t that different. We talked about a motherland we never understood but were somehow sure of. When I lived in Manila in 2012, I was still a foreigner. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1663177096786-WMG7CN6O81O0RH5H5DJ1/ISABELLE+4.png Home - PUR LAINE (2019) - Today, all the heartbreak during that period seems inevitable and even necessary. (Copy) Today, all the heartbreak during that period seems inevitable and even necessary. Maybe that’s why, 5 years out from wrapping principle photography, I do feel a smidgen of nostalgia. Everything about this production was about growth. It’s a strange thing to realize that we can look back at the darkest, most confusing periods of our lives and miss it all. It takes time to value the pain. What if it was a booming success? That would have been nice, but I’m not convinced I’d be better off passion-wise. One of the reasons I still do this is because I can’t just give up after getting my ass kicked. I have to leave feeling a sense of mastery. The failure keeps me coming back. Is that persistence admirable, or do I find myself in an abusive relationship? It’s probably somewhere in between: shades of grey all the way down… https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1663176864880-HIWKQ1FW0KEE5MZOVSFZ/image-asset.png Home - PUR LAINE (2019) https://www.alexandercruz.live/home-alexander/loualbert-eaje4 monthly 0.5 2025-12-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1663189367975-SQSIR40TFWSJD1T11LL0/luis+hand.jpg Home - Portrait of a Songwriter: A Lou Albert Mixtape - The night we met (Copy) The night we met I met Lou when I was working for a non-profit and was put in charge of making a video on a coalition for new immigrant artists in 2010. I was running around with my DSLR out to prove myself in those days. In came Lou with drummer Raul Perez. They looked too cool for school. The kind of guys who grew up admiring Che Guevera and hadn’t outgrown the leftist rhetoric. You know the Latino stereotypes. Rebel music, social justice, all that stuff. Their name was The AK47s for Christ’s sake. Although he was shy, Lou was very clearly the frontman. He had the look. The 1950s slicked back hair said it all. I always loved Joe Strummer. I guess you can say I lived through Lou. He was the pretty face to Raul’s dark side. From the moment we met, we were friends. They hired me to make a music video documentary on them and that was that. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666022220497-SVS6Q1PS6QMB00K0P00X/LUIS+YOUNG.png Home - Portrait of a Songwriter: A Lou Albert Mixtape - The Hyphenated (Copy) The Hyphenated Lou was raised in Nicaragua. At a young age, he and his friends used to hang out at the beach and surf. Drinking heavily was just what everyone did. This became a coping mechanism for his anxiety and self-consciousness, I believe. As we see in his story, liquid courage is a double edged sword. What allows all that creativity to surface can also destroy you. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1663189395987-SQDTEY36J563ZSWEMTU4/SPLIT+SCREEN.jpg Home - Portrait of a Songwriter: A Lou Albert Mixtape - Chaos and energy (Copy) Chaos and energy I always liked filming these bros jam. The chemistry was undeniable. They had shared history and roots. All that beer and madness meant they weren’t destined to be studio rockers. It was hard to watch them bleed out all that energy in a shady basement. The asian mother in me believed they had the seedlings of commercial success in their act, but asian mothers produce doctors and lawyers, not great acts. They knew how to produce lightning, but to capture it in a bottle to commodify and sell? Forget about it. That requires you to fall a little bit out of love with what you do. It forces you to put a price on your energy, and that I think neither of them was willing to do. People hire agents and managers and marketers for that sort of thing. It’s hard to see less talented people thrive, but then again, the success of mediocrity often gives people hope. Maybe it really is just about persistence. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666022263473-NHU0LXDHVU311DNCJDDJ/NEW+BAND.png Home - Portrait of a Songwriter: A Lou Albert Mixtape - A new gang (Copy) A new gang When The AK47s broke up, Lou tried to form a new band. Unfortunately, brotherly love and alcohol fuelled mayhem didn’t amount to much. They barely played any shows and couldn’t get their act together. Nobody said playing in a band is easy. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666022154245-7GA7AK48G0NXP3JSVQ2M/LUIS+BED+2.png Home - Portrait of a Songwriter: A Lou Albert Mixtape - Apocalypse now (Copy) Apocalypse now I look at Lou in bed staring at the ceiling with the record player on. It’s a poetic image - the artist in a funk. But the artist in this state is wracked with nervous anxiety rather than romance. They need a project. They need a mission. All artists have a bit of Captain Willard in them, the doomed protagonist in Francis Ford Coppola’s classic, Apocalypse Now. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666022174474-TLLG7TV64WIMT9AZ6RFQ/LUIS+INTERVIEW+2.png Home - Portrait of a Songwriter: A Lou Albert Mixtape - Make' em look cool (Copy) Make' em look cool Lou never asked me to do that. He’s too cool for that. But I always tried to pry the honesty out of him by telling him I’d do my best to do just that. I guess you can say I was playing to his self image. I learned a lot about working with friends during this project. There’s the person you know, and the person you’re creating. Film is about emotional truth, not facts. When I showed him the film, he told me he dug it. I’ll take it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666022195354-4HL55RNWK3RNWRUKRN9Y/LUIS+STREET+SMOKING.png Home - Portrait of a Songwriter: A Lou Albert Mixtape - My favourite stereotype (Copy) My favourite stereotype I’ve always loved Bob Dylan types. I think so much of my persona while travelling and writing and making movies during my twenties was inspired by this. But who am I kidding - I’ve always been more calculated than free spirited, and those who fulfill that stereotype are often imprisoned on the inside. Lou is one of those Dylan types. The bohemian life is not what it seems. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1666022209523-3PACMO5QJQEAVRONJT42/LUIS+WILVES.png Home - Portrait of a Songwriter: A Lou Albert Mixtape - Unhappy (Copy) Unhappy Like any musician, Lou takes to his craft to express the anger and frustration of his life not having panned out the way he wanted it to. He’s child of nature at heart, and Hull’s concrete jungle is bringing him down. Working for the government makes him feel like a sellout. As we see in the film, however, on the other side of this emotional turmoil is freedom. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1663189387733-ZEU8ZFTGPIFDI7M49ENP/OLD+LUIS.jpg Home - Portrait of a Songwriter: A Lou Albert Mixtape - Low budget special-fx (Copy) Low budget special-fx I used a free app on my phone to generate the older version of Luis. This is supposed to be our man in 2050, which would make him sixty four. Back in the day sixty four would be considered old. Today it’s more like the latter stages of middle age. He may not be a young buck here, but he’s also not a geezer. Why the jump to the older years? This creative decision was pure instinct, but now that I look back at it, fast-forwarding to sixty four was perfect. At that age, he’s not so old that his younger self is a distant memory, and he’s not so young that he can just pick up where he quit in his youth. It’s a kind of purgatory. At that age, he’s forced to reckon with his decisions. He didn’t become the artist he wanted to be, and he’s second guessing the effort he put into his dreams. As we learn in life, acceptance is the way forward. We don’t need to like what’s happened to us. And while we can do our best to shape things for the better, torturing ourselves from our past decisions is a waste of time. As the crazy drummer at the conclusion of Hardcore Logo (1996) says, “In the end, it’s love.” And by love, I mean surrender. https://www.alexandercruz.live/home-alexander/legenrequitue-5abj4 monthly 0.5 2025-12-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664328948401-HCW552I8JVH9R29TZ3FV/My+project-1+%2823%29.jpg Home - LE GENRE QUI TUE (2023) - Junkies, serial killers, and a heist. More than a pandemic story. (Copy) Junkies, serial killers, and a heist. More than a pandemic story. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664221599159-WLO9C5XJL5K5VZH6D7OY/THE+12-2.jpg Home - LE GENRE QUI TUE (2023) - The COVID film that could (Copy) The COVID film that could Exhausted, broke, and barely conscious, I somehow stumbled into Day 14, our last shooting day. Everyone was excited that we had gotten as far as we did with as little as we had, but I was still in paranoid producer mode: money, get it done, follow COVID protocols, finish the shoot. The COVID protocols made everything that much more difficult, but I knew if I could get something done in this environment this would be proof of resilience. Or so this is the story I told myself. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664221530076-MKR9TTIDCEH1APOOQVLK/My+project-1+%2819%29.jpg Home - LE GENRE QUI TUE (2023) - What was an idea the summer prior, was now an actuality. (Copy) What was an idea the summer prior, was now an actuality. “Actualities” are never perfect. In film, they barely resemble what one initially thought up. But they are tangible. They are something DONE. That is more than most filmmakers can speak of. There are countless screenwriters with stacks of scripts on a shelf somewhere. To commit to making something, you have to accept that your ego will be set aflame and you will deal with people who are there to finish a job. I’ve learned over the years that the crew’s impersonal relationship with your vision is exactly what you as the creator need more of. Remember: DONE, not perfect. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664221644048-JNAKD6FVUKPXEI9G72TE/REMY+3.jpg Home - LE GENRE QUI TUE (2023) - A strip club full of mirrors (Copy) A strip club full of mirrors There are only so many ways we could film in this club. The stage was surrounded by mirrors so blocking was limited. The morning of the shoot was also the first time I’d seen that location. The cast and crew waited outside for god knows how long for the owner to open the doors. Would this be a wasted day? I recall feeling calm throughout all this. Why? Having fewer options means most of the decisions you have to make are made for you. Decision fatigue is a real thing. We shot what we needed to shoot and everyone felt fine. None of this “woulda, coulda, shoulda” business. Possibilities are the seeds of buyer’s remorse. I was just happy we didn’t lose the day and we got the extra production value we needed by shooting in a ghetto ass strip club. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664222990598-YYVU2ELZCFZ1DUZKP4XB/benoit+cartoon.png Home - LE GENRE QUI TUE (2023) - The night my car broke down (Copy) The night my car broke down It was our dreaded first overnight shoot. I believe the day was to go from 4pm to 4am. We had the following day off to ensure our circadian rhythms had some normalcy. My car, a shitty Yaris, was also the vehicle of the main characters. Of course it had to break down. It was around midnight, I believe. This bloody piece of junk had never busted on me. But now it did. The starter was fucked. I can remember thoughts of resignation, i.e. “ It is what it is… It wasn’t meant to be…. I can always reschedule… etc.” And then it miraculously started. We made it to the “highway” area where most of the night shoot was to take place. Miscommunications with the production designer on props, exhausted cast and crew and rain had made things harder than planned. By the end of the night, I was a frustrated, hollow mess. I couldn’t wait to climb into bed after having seen the film I spent a year planning go up in flames. At 4am, everyone took off. And then my car broke down for good. I couldn’t get home. It was poetic justice. “At least I got the coverage I needed,” would have been a healthier way of seeing it, but that wasn’t the case. I’d given up on filmmaking. My good friend Dominique was there to see it all. CAA had screwed up and I had to wait another 2 hours for someone to pick me up. I gave the tow truck driver my keys and didn’t give a shit where he took my car. I slept for a few hours at home, defeated. The total repairs cost about 700 bucks. I was back at it by noon. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664222366561-CW2IHRORH0B718582XVT/WIDE+BONI+AKALU.jpg Home - LE GENRE QUI TUE (2023) - Good enough (Copy) Good enough I like to say that filmmaking is a relationship. The litmus test on whether or not a relationship is worthwhile must be harsh. Say, for example, you’re with someone and you have the itch to pursue better. The question you should ask yourself is, “Would I rather be with this person, or die alone?” If you can’t help but think of the charming ways that your person betters your life then that person is “good enough.” When it comes to film, the formula is similar. Would you have rather made this film you are so critical of, or have never done it at all? If you are a true filmmaker the reasons for why the experience was worth it will come cascading and they will be enough for you to try again. If they don’t, give it up and start a food truck. I look at Dominique Brillantes smoke that cigarette like his life depends on it, and Brandon Pierre look as lazy as he’s supposed to be. This scene is fine just the way it is. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664328948654-VPJU3FXWSHNMRPK9Q3GN/My+project-1+%2822%29.jpg Home - LE GENRE QUI TUE (2023) - The fake jib shot (Copy) The fake jib shot Every now and then indie filmmakers can pull something off that would have been way out of our league years ago. Nate Estabrooks, my DP, blasted some light through the wooden stairs leading up to my apartment and Isabelle Lafond ran down them onto a rain soaked rue Leduc. We were capable of getting one take in focus. It made it into the trailer and the film. The rest were too blurry. No focus puller, after all. That was on the first day of the shoot. We felt like we had stolen fire from the gods. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/630e5ca060aa897274f279b2/1664223041127-OIB7Z54U8G235HBPS119/BEN+THE+8.jpg Home - LE GENRE QUI TUE (2023) - No kissing. Unless... (Copy) No kissing. Unless... Much has been said about COVID protocols. Too harsh, too lenient, too inconsistent, etc. etc. Regardless of what one thinks about the measures put in place by the government and film associations to keep people safe, cast and crew put up with them all in the love of telling stories. One such rule was that there was to be no kissing, unless the two people in question were a couple in real life or they lived together. Productions got creative to get their kiss. Some would bring in the spouse of the actor/actress and make them wear a wig and shoot them from a certain angle. I heard even plexiglass was used in love scenes. Everyone needed their kiss and we were no different. We got ours. Why? They were a couple in real life. I took this for granted back then. I needed to write this for it to register.